Shrinking social lives, career disruption and emotional isolation: experts warn that men in midlife face a disproportionate threat. They are the most likely group to die by suicide.
In 2022, New Jersey recorded a suicide rate of 7.7 deaths per 100,000 residents, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. New Jersey typically sits at the bottom of these rankings, experts say. The national rate is 14.2 per 100,000.
Michael Tozzoli, CEO of West Bergen Mental Healthcare in Bergen County, said these statistics reflect the Garden State’s abundance of counselors and its dearth of guns.
Yet the risk spikes sharply for one group: men approaching retirement. At 13.1 suicide deaths per 100,000, the rate nearly doubles for male New Jerseyans age 55 to 59.
Nationwide, the disparities are even more striking. In 2022, the most recent data available, U.S. men died by suicide at about four times the rate of women — 22.9 per 100,000 compared with 5.9 per 100,000, CDC statistics show.
And men age 75 and older had the highest suicide rate of any demographic group, at an estimated 43.9 per 100,000.
What’s behind these numbers? They reflect a pattern, Tozzoli said. Men tend to shed friends as life progresses. They gradually lose emotional ties and fail to replenish them. First to go are the friends they made at kids’ soccer games and family activities. Then comes retirement.
“Men very much conflate their identity with their profession,” Tozzoli said. “We climb the ladder in our 40s and 50s, but if we lose our job or retire, we often have a hard time standing back up and moving forward. Those connections fall away.”
Additionally, men often rely heavily on a spouse or partner for support and don’t maintain other meaningful friendships.
“If something happens to that one person — a divorce, a death — they’re left with very few supports,” he said. “And those risks get worse with age.”
Picture 1 o’clock at the Daily Treat, a local diner in Ridgewood.
“There are three or four men at the table having lunch and two tables down there are three or four women having lunch. Typically women are going to be talking about themselves, their families and their relationships,” Tozzoli said.
“They are going to talk about what’s going well and what’s not going well,” he said. “Now compare the conversations at the table of guys. We are talking about sports, the weather and where we are going on vacation. We tend to stay safe in our conversations. We are not going to go as deep and we also don’t invest in our relationships.”
Middle-aged and older men often endure what social scientists call the “friendship recession,” stated the Washington, D.C.-based Survey Center on American Life in 2021.
As they retire, divorce or see children leave home, many men lose the ties they forged through work and shared activities. Loneliness can escalate without a strong network of friends — and so can the risk of suicide.
In 2021, the suicide rate for U.S. men ages 55–64 reached 26.6 per 100,000, according to the CDC. The rate rises further with age: 38.2 for men 75 to 84, and 55.7 for those 85 and older.
Emotional isolation often builds quietly over time and may not be recognized by friends or family until it becomes acute.
People think of suicide risk in terms of mental illness or trauma, and those matter, Tozzoli said. But so does the slow erosion of connections and the sense of loss that can accrue over time.
“For many men, their career is a big part of who they are — a big part of their purpose in life,” added Wendy Sefcik of Montville, chair of the New Jersey chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. “When that goes away, it becomes really difficult to fill those gaps.”
Warning signs of suicidal thoughts can include feeling hopeless, trapped or like a burden; withdrawing from friends and activities; changes in sleep or eating habits; increased use of alcohol or drugs; and expressing a desire to die, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
If you know someone deeply, just trust yourself when you think there is something different about them, Tozzoli said.
“My husband used to play golf regularly and he doesn’t anymore,” he said. “There is a withdrawing from previously enjoyed activities.”
If there’s one thing Tozzoli wants people to remember, it’s to not be afraid to talk to someone if you think they are having trouble. People are afraid to ask if they are considering suicide because they don’t want to “plant a seed,” he acknowledged. But, “The research and the data say it is completely the opposite.”
Just asking someone brings the risk down “markedly,” he said.
Sefcik agreed and emphasized the importance of using direct language. “We don’t want to say, ‘Are you thinking of hurting yourself?’ because someone in deep pain may not see suicide as harm — they may see it as relief,” she said. “The better question is, ‘Are you thinking of killing yourself?’ That opens the door for honest conversation.”
She added: “We know from research that just asking the question — calmly and directly — helps reduce risk. It’s like releasing pressure from a balloon. It gives someone permission to talk about their pain without judgment.”
In Bergen County and throughout New Jersey, several programs are available to support mental health and suicide prevention. Through the Bergen County Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services, free trainings such as “QPR,” short for Question, Persuade, Refer, and Mental Health First Aid are offered in workplaces, schools, libraries and community groups, said Sefcik, who leads many of the programs.
How can men steel themselves against loneliness and depression as they age? Daniel A. Cox’s article “American Men Suffer a Friendship Recession” from the Survey Center on American Life offers advice.
“We should rededicate time to fostering friendships, at work, in our neighborhoods, and even online. Few investments provide such an immediate and enduring reward while entailing so little risk,” wrote Cox, who directs the center.
Friendships take time and men tend to devote less time to them in middle age than in adolescence, he noted. He cited psychotherapist Robert Garfield’s observation that men “stash their friendships away” and don’t maintain regular contact. That means they miss out on the benefits of consistent support.
The CDC advises: “If you are in crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The Lifeline provides confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Support is also available via live chat.“

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U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services Administrator Dr. Mehmet Oz  met with industry leaders to discuss their pledge to streamline and improve the prior authorization processes for Medicare Advantage, Medicaid, Affordable Care Act marketplace and commercial plans covering nearly eight out of 10 Americans.
Companies and organizations represented at an HHS roundtable included Aetna, AHIP, Blue Cross Blue Shield Association, CareFirst BlueCross BlueShield, Centene Corporation, The Cigna Group, Elevance Health, GuideWell, Highmark Health, Humana, Kaiser Permanente, and UnitedHealthcare.
Earlier, AHIP announced health insurers pledged to focus on connecting patients more quickly to the care they need while minimizing administrative burdens on providers.
For patients, these commitments will result in faster, more direct access to appropriate treatments and medical services with fewer challenges navigating the health system.
For providers, these commitments will streamline prior authorization workflows, allowing for a more efficient and transparent process overall, while ensuring evidence-based care for their patients.
“The health care system remains fragmented and burdened by outdated manual processes, resulting in frustration for patients and providers alike. Health plans are making voluntary commitments to deliver a more seamless patient experience and enable providers to focus on patient care, while also helping to modernize the system,” said AHIP president and CEO Mike Tuffin.
Participating health plans commit to:
The following health plans voluntarily committed to these actions:
© Entire contents copyright 2025 by InsuranceNewsNet.com Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reprinted without the expressed written consent from InsuranceNewsNet.com.
Susan Rupe is managing editor for InsuranceNewsNet. She formerly served as communications director for an insurance agents’ association and was an award-winning newspaper reporter and editor. Contact her at [email protected].
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